Parents

I could say that I'm always jealous of people close to their parents. I'm okay with my father, but my mother, not so much. Whenever I think about her, I get really emotional. I don't know, but I think she hates me.

She's usually angry at me. Especially when I ask money from her. It's not like I always ask money from her, I only do it when it's necessary. Sometimes, I just don't know how to deal with her. She's good with everybody else, but not with me.

I feel too sensitive sometimes. I always tear up over the little things.

I just want to get close to her, you know? Just build a relationship with her. I want my parents to just be open, and at least listen to my stories. Or just ask me how my day had been, or just tell me that they love me. Sometimes I feel really worthless from them. I know I'm old and this is really childish, but I just want to feel a little love from them, is that too much to ask?

Maybe I just want my mother not to be angry at me most of the time. And I just want her to understand that when I ask for me, I must really need it.

I feel more of a burden than a blessing for them. Actually, I only feel worthy for them when they need something from me. My mother lights up when we talk about the money I would give them when I start working. She also lights up when we talk about our dogs. I even think that she loves the dogs more than me, and I can't blame her because our dogs are such cutiepies. Anyway.

I don't know how to deal with them. I want my parents to be closer. I want to just tell them I love them without them giving me an irritated look. I haven't tried telling them I love them, but they'll just probably pretend they didn't hear me.

I'm f*cked. What's wrong with me?